Adventures in Marble, Colorado Part 1
My husband and I decided to go on vacation to Colorado to celebrate our anniversary and also to have what people have been calling the "babymoon" (a last vacation before kids). A family friend owns a cabin in Marble that let us stay at for free. To be completely honest we were excited to get a way, but a little nervous that we would be bored and have nothing to do. Little did we know we were in for a wild adventure.
May 16, 2015
We are definitely not in Kansas anymore! I just about had a heart attack driving up that muddy mountain in our front wheel drive sporty Hyundai accent. The bottom of the mountain filled us with ease and confidence but as we continued our incline up, I started getting nervous. We passed several other cabins and houses that would have made a great vacation spot but no, our cabin had to be second from the very top. It was raining a bit and that made the top of the mountain extra muddy. There were a couple spots on the narrow road where I could see the 1000 some foot drop off and I could feel my heart race! We hit a couple muddy patches were we lost some traction and I couldn't help but imagine seeing this little car slowly slip off the side of the...no I couldn't think about it I had to be strong. I mean how much would our family and friends really miss us and our unborn baby if we never returned back home...this train of thinking was not helping. I had to keep from freaking out so Joshua could concentrate on driving. I think he was scared too, but he didn't let onto it. I was thankful for this, I wouldn't handle it well if we were both freaking out. After a few close calls and a few flashbacks of our past lives, we actually missed the gate to the cabin and drove right past it. We stopped to ask a neighbor where we were. I was happy to just stop driving and see another living human being who hadn't died going up and down this mountain many times. I was hoping to for him to tell us how insane it was for us to be up here and it would have made a great excuse to go home and be safe forever. He told us (ok he told Joshua, I was too afraid to get out of the car for the fear the whole mountain would turn on me and decide to swallow me up since it hadn't yet succeeded to dump me off its edge) that we had just missed the entrance. He also assured us that with a few hours of sunlight the road would dry up and be just fine. Not the reaction I was expecting, I thought for sure when he saw our sorry excuse for a car he would laugh and tell us that we were crazy and that we had better be careful.
When we arrived safely at the cabin I still didn't quite feel right, in the back of my mind I knew that eventually we would have to drive back down. I thought we might have to stay up there forever. We'd eventually call for a helicopter to come get us and bring us home to Minnesota no matter the cost involved! I had to block the idea of traveling down the mountain again out of my mind, it was too much. I had to contend with the fact that we were stuck at the top for however long until we worked up the courage to drive down. We got out of the car and it was covered in splattered mud as it sat close to the edge of the mountain with an amazing view behind it. It looked like a car advertisement. Although if it were, I would sue for false advertising if it caused anyone to think driving in that car up this mountain was a good idea! I admit my nerves were so overwhelming I let out a few tears once we got inside. I lay on the bed in the upstairs loft with the grand view of mounted taxidermy creatures all around me. They were staring at me, solidifying the feeling that I didn't belong there.
I was reminded of something I had just heard the past couple weeks, that the opposite of love is fear. It took me the whole trip to understand what this could mean in relation to my situation. Some would say that goal of the Christian life is to learn to trust God 100% and this means having fear of nothing! This trip made me realize how far I am from accomplishing this. I am very afraid to lose my life. I am afraid of pain. I am afraid of losing my husband and of losing the little baby growing inside of me whom I haven't even met.
Its amazing how marriage and then expecting a child can change your heart, your priorities and your fears. I absolutely love my husband so much sometimes it hurts. Now this precious life growing inside of me has also gotten so much love already. This kind of love doesn't seem to drive away fear, though it seems to enhance the fear. Then maybe my love is supposed to be for God first, knowing that He loves my husband and my baby a million times more than I ever could and God is the one who has given them to me. He has created them for a purpose and ultimately He is responsible for them. As I write this I realize this is more true in my head than in my heart. My heart just wants to cry and hold them so close to me squeezing them tight. Lord, forgive me and help me to surrender them to You. You are a jealous God who wants my total affection before all else.
To be continued...
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| The view from above our cabin |
We are definitely not in Kansas anymore! I just about had a heart attack driving up that muddy mountain in our front wheel drive sporty Hyundai accent. The bottom of the mountain filled us with ease and confidence but as we continued our incline up, I started getting nervous. We passed several other cabins and houses that would have made a great vacation spot but no, our cabin had to be second from the very top. It was raining a bit and that made the top of the mountain extra muddy. There were a couple spots on the narrow road where I could see the 1000 some foot drop off and I could feel my heart race! We hit a couple muddy patches were we lost some traction and I couldn't help but imagine seeing this little car slowly slip off the side of the...no I couldn't think about it I had to be strong. I mean how much would our family and friends really miss us and our unborn baby if we never returned back home...this train of thinking was not helping. I had to keep from freaking out so Joshua could concentrate on driving. I think he was scared too, but he didn't let onto it. I was thankful for this, I wouldn't handle it well if we were both freaking out. After a few close calls and a few flashbacks of our past lives, we actually missed the gate to the cabin and drove right past it. We stopped to ask a neighbor where we were. I was happy to just stop driving and see another living human being who hadn't died going up and down this mountain many times. I was hoping to for him to tell us how insane it was for us to be up here and it would have made a great excuse to go home and be safe forever. He told us (ok he told Joshua, I was too afraid to get out of the car for the fear the whole mountain would turn on me and decide to swallow me up since it hadn't yet succeeded to dump me off its edge) that we had just missed the entrance. He also assured us that with a few hours of sunlight the road would dry up and be just fine. Not the reaction I was expecting, I thought for sure when he saw our sorry excuse for a car he would laugh and tell us that we were crazy and that we had better be careful.
When we arrived safely at the cabin I still didn't quite feel right, in the back of my mind I knew that eventually we would have to drive back down. I thought we might have to stay up there forever. We'd eventually call for a helicopter to come get us and bring us home to Minnesota no matter the cost involved! I had to block the idea of traveling down the mountain again out of my mind, it was too much. I had to contend with the fact that we were stuck at the top for however long until we worked up the courage to drive down. We got out of the car and it was covered in splattered mud as it sat close to the edge of the mountain with an amazing view behind it. It looked like a car advertisement. Although if it were, I would sue for false advertising if it caused anyone to think driving in that car up this mountain was a good idea! I admit my nerves were so overwhelming I let out a few tears once we got inside. I lay on the bed in the upstairs loft with the grand view of mounted taxidermy creatures all around me. They were staring at me, solidifying the feeling that I didn't belong there.
I was reminded of something I had just heard the past couple weeks, that the opposite of love is fear. It took me the whole trip to understand what this could mean in relation to my situation. Some would say that goal of the Christian life is to learn to trust God 100% and this means having fear of nothing! This trip made me realize how far I am from accomplishing this. I am very afraid to lose my life. I am afraid of pain. I am afraid of losing my husband and of losing the little baby growing inside of me whom I haven't even met.
Its amazing how marriage and then expecting a child can change your heart, your priorities and your fears. I absolutely love my husband so much sometimes it hurts. Now this precious life growing inside of me has also gotten so much love already. This kind of love doesn't seem to drive away fear, though it seems to enhance the fear. Then maybe my love is supposed to be for God first, knowing that He loves my husband and my baby a million times more than I ever could and God is the one who has given them to me. He has created them for a purpose and ultimately He is responsible for them. As I write this I realize this is more true in my head than in my heart. My heart just wants to cry and hold them so close to me squeezing them tight. Lord, forgive me and help me to surrender them to You. You are a jealous God who wants my total affection before all else.
To be continued...
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